Journal Entry
September 3, 2004
Loren and Tanya Gardner lead our ministry to unwed mothers.
Around 7 p.m. the phone rang. Looking at the caller id, I saw that the Dale’s were calling. I paused and realized that this was probably it and I wondered if I was really ready to do this deal. I answered and Kim Dale said she needed a place for a 22 year old and her newborn. I hesitated for a moment as I thought about EVERYTHING, and then told her that I would have to wait for Tanya to get home. I knew that Tanya would be excited about this opportunity. So, I started cleaning up my “junk” room because I knew this is what God has called us to do. Tanya arrived home and I told her about the need and she went to the phone and called Kim to tell her yes. The Dale’s arrived with Lori and Scarlet. Lori was visibly upset. She and Scarlet had been kicked out of where they were living and didn’t want to go back to the streets. Lori is a 22-year-old street kid who has been without a home or consistent job since she was 19 when her aunt asked her to leave. Scarlet was 13 days old when she came to visit us. She was a tiny girl with sweet little hands and feet. She really took a liking to Tanya and me.
Our first night was awful. Scarlet screamed and screamed. Finally Tanya went downstairs to see if she could help. It soon became apparent that Lori had no child raising skills. She was nursing the baby for less than 5 minutes and then either gave up or thought Scarlet was full or just didn’t want to bother with the responsibility. Tanya was quick to figure out what was wrong and promptly fed her a bottle. She drank about 5-6 oz. Scarlet fell into a quiet sleep as she drank. This continued throughout their stay, but at the end, it did appear that Lori was catching on.
Lori came in Thursday and was supposed to just stay overnight before moving onto a shelter. When Tanya spoke to her about this, she broke down and cried. We knew she was trying to manipulate us and play on our kindness. We decide to let her stay a few more days for Scarlet’s sake. We knew that it would be hard on the baby to move and we wanted to spend some more time with her and Lori.
They were with us for 5 days before being accepted into the Salvation Army’s Shelter program. In this program they will provide childcare after Scarlet is 6 weeks old. They will require Lori to get and keep a job, and they will provide parenting classes and employment assistance. It is a great place for Lori and we pray she will stick with it. We are grieved because it appears that she loves the streets…a lot. And we don’t know what will happen to her and her baby.
When all of this started to unfold, I felt really nervous. I was nervous for the situation and my family. I wondered how my 15 month old son, Aiden would do with a baby in the house and how hard it would be with a newborn in the house. I wondered if we could help Lori straighten up her life and stay off the streets. We didn’t know anything about her so we didn’t know what to expect. I worried about little things like whether to leave the scissors I use for cutting fabric in the same room with her. I had no idea what type of person she was - angry, suicidal or what.
Aiden did well. At first he was confused at the presence of visitors. He soon became jealous because of the amount of time Tanya and I were holding and loving the baby. It was funny to see him notice that Scarlet was taking a bottle. He decided that he wanted her bottle. As an infant and even till now, he never drank from a bottle. All of a sudden, he was demanding one. We let him and he forgot about it after they were gone. We could tell that our new visitor upset him a little. I do know that part of my responsibility as a parent is to be sure that my family is exposed to and learns to love those people that God calls us to love and minister to…the unlovable, throwaways-the disenfranchised (as we at Harbor call them). I want Aiden to grow up with kindness in his heart for everyone - not just the beautiful or cool people but everyone!