Becoming A More Loving Person, Becoming a More Loving Community
January 23, 2005
Jesus said that the whole of his message could be summarized in this:
• Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments" (Matthew22:36-40).
• In John 13:35 he says, “By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."
• The Apostle John said, “We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love our brothers. Anyone who does not love remains in death. I John 3:14.
In January and February we will be focusing on the topics of “Growing in my Capacity to be a Loving Person” and “Growing in our Capacity to be a Loving Community.”
This is a challenging topic to discuss for three reasons.
1. The world has captured the word love and the by-product is that it is, at best, a fuzzy word with no real meaning, and at worst, a word that has come to mean something different than what the biblical writers meant when they talked about love.
2. Living in the third generation of a 50% divorce rate, many of us have grown up in dysfunctional families. The consequence of this is that our attempts to love are actually expressions of our co-dependence or our need to control our environment. Rather than really loving, we end up enabling or controlling.
3. Most of us are fairly immature in our ability to love. To grow requires that we (a) know the truth; (b) tell the truth about the gap between what we actually practice and what God calls us to; and (c) that usually results in spiritual warfare in our hearts and minds for which we need teaching, support, and accountability.
We are helped in getting clear about the Biblical meaning of love when we turn to the New Testament. There we find clear instructions about acts of love in which we are instructed to engage. These Biblical admonitions help clarify the difference between loving someone and trying to control or manipulate them out of our co-dependence. Over the next eight weeks, we want to hold these ten acts of love that the Bible calls us to do for one another.
Security: Meeting the need for security by experiencing 1 John 4:18…perfect love drives out fear. When people do not sense security in a relationship, they may be paralyzed by fear and distrust.
Comfort: Meeting the need for comfort by experiencing Romans 12:15…mourn with those who mourn. When people fail to receive comfort for their emotional hurts, inner healing and spiritual growth are often hindered.
Attention: Meeting the need for attention by experiencing I Corinthians 12:25 …have the same care for one another. When people are not given sufficient attention, they may lose their sense of being important to others.
Acceptance: Meeting the need for acceptance by experiencing Romans 15:7…accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you. When people do not receive acceptance, they may have difficulty grasping their worth in the Father’s eyes.
Appreciation: Meeting the need for appreciation by experiencing I Corinthians 11:2…I praise you for remembering me in everything. When people are not properly appreciated, they may struggle with feelings of insignificance.
Support: Meeting the need for support by experiencing Galatians 6:2…carry each other’s burdens. When people do not receive our support, they may feel overwhelmed and hopeless.
Encouragement: Meeting the need for encouragement by experiencing I Thessalonians 5:11…encourage one another and build each other up. When people are not encouraged they may grow weary and give up.
Affection: Meeting the need for affection by experiencing Romans 16:16…greet one another with a holy kiss. When people do not receive sufficient affection, they may feel unloved and unlovable.
Respect: Meeting the need for respect by experiencing I Peter 2:17…show proper respect to everyone. When people do not receive our respect, they may feel ignored and unimportant.
Approval: Meeting the need for approval by experiencing Romans 14:18…anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and approved by men. When people do not receive their sense of value may be diminished.
Most tragically, each of these breakdowns in human relationships may hinder and individuals openness to the Heavenly Father and His love.
1. Of the three reasons given on page one for why discussing love is such a difficult challenge, which one resonates most deeply for you?
• Lack of clarity about what Biblical love is?
• Confusing love with doing good things to change the people around you?
• Difficulty telling the truth about the gap between you actual practice and what the Bible calls you to?
2. Re-read the list of 10 characteristics of love and answer these questions?
• Which one of these expressions of love comes most naturally to you?
• Which one of these expressions of is most challenging to you?
• If you could ask for one of these needs to be met, which one would you ask for and how would you want it expressed.